I realized that I never really got to write down my birth story for others to see. It was such a pleasant experience and my proudest accomplishment. Here it goes...
On May 8, in the evening, I started getting contractions every 5 minutes. Now I was told, in my birthing class and by my doctors and nurses, that once contractions reach the point where they are 5 min apart regulary for over an hour it was time to call the hospital and most likely go in. I would like to state that I feel they should tell first time moms more specifics on this. Anyways, the contractions continued all night long. They progressively got stronger, but never unbearable. After a few phone calls to my hospitals L&D unit, they suggested I come in and get checked. I must note that at this point I was JUST 36 weeks.
So, I got to triage. They talked to me about my contractions, hooked me up to the monitor and etc. After watching the consistent contractions, they decided to check me. I was at 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced. The nurses were all shocked to see numbers like that for a first time mom. In fact, one nurse said to me that I was going to have my baby THAT NIGHT. She suggested I go home, rest while contractions were "easy" and come back when they were unbearable or my water broke.
So I called a few important people excitedly to let them all know my little girl was arriving TONIGHT. I was ecstatic. I took the nurses directions, went home rested and kept in mind my contractions. Hours passed. Contractions stopped. I was devastated. How could the nurse tell me that my baby was coming tonight, but the contractions stopped?? The next day I had an appointment with my Dr. He checked me again and saw that I was still at 3 cm, membranes still in-tact. He also told me that this baby was coming, if not tonight, this week for sure. He said that most first-time-moms dont walk around 3 cm dilated for long.
A couple days passed, and soon came Thursday evening. Contractions started again, every 5 min. They were most definitely worse than monday's contractions, but I was still handling them just fine. At this point, it was the end of the week, i continuously was having contractions off and on all week. Each night they kept me up and was causing me to lose sleep. I was exhausted come Friday morning. After talking with triage nurses, they asked me to come in again. I was still only 3 cm dilated. Nothing changed. Except my exhaustion was unbearable. I was at the hospital for a few hours while they monitored everything to make sure baby was doing good and that there was no change in cervix. They then sent me home with a RX of ambien, 5mg, to help me sleep. They said YET AGAIN that the baby was coming very soon and I needed my rest.
By Monday I was so fed up. I get that at this point I was still only 37 weeks, but why did they keep saying I was going to see my baby? They should know better than to tell a pregnant woman that. I went to my scheduled Dr. appointment, we decided not to check my cervix. At this point did it even matter? Who cares how dilated I was, she wasnt coming. For all I knew, she could come 2 weeks late and I would still have 5 weeks to go. I was in a very negative mood. My Dr. tried to be very positive and said that she was coming soon, to keep my chin up. I basically rolled my eyes and left the office. That day proceeded normally, I took a nap and had a very lazy day.
That Monday night, May 16 my husband and I laid in bed talking about everything. Becoming new parents, our thoughts and fears of labor/delivery, what was she gonna look like? Was I going to be able to have my all-natural birth that I dreamed of? Soon it was the early morning hours of May 17, and we decided we should try and fall asleep. Well, then I felt a weird POP in my belly. It wasnt the baby kicking, it felt different. My husband heard the pop, and I said out loud "that was weird." Josh asked me if my water just broke and I replied that no fluid was coming out so I didnt think so. Well about a minute after that, I had a very STRONG contraction. Stronger than any contraction I had ever had. In my head I started thinking that maybe my water did break, but because I was laying down no fluid was coming out. So I got up, and felt a little trickle down my leg. I knew it was time. I went into the bathroom and thats when the GUSH came.
So excited I yelled out to my husband, who had quickly fallen asleep, and he came running in. I told him my water broke and his face lit up. He asked me if this meant we were having a baby, if when we go to the hospital, we won't come home without her. When I replied yes, he gave me the most amazingly proud, happy, excited, thrilled smile I have ever seen. We grabbed our bags and drove the 4 blocks to the hospital.
The nurse checked me and saw that I was now at 4 cm. I was having strong contractions, but they were not super close together. They moved me to my room and I started walking around to get the contractions moving. Within an hour, they were very intense and coming every 2 min. In between contractions I had the worst pressure in my back. So I decided to hop in the shower. I pretty much spent my entire labor in the shower. The warmth on my back was so soothing. When a contraction would come, I would have my husband apply pressure to my lower back which was incredibly helpful. A few times I would get out of the shower and lay in the bed, but it just hurt so much to lay flat. I am pretty sure at one point, I laid face first into pillows and my ginormous naked butt up in the air. I didnt give a crap because I was in so much pain.
A few hours after arriving at the hospital, the nurse decided to check me. I was at 5 cm. That was it. I felt like I had been laboring for forever. I had already vomitted twice and was sure I was hitting transition. But nope, just 5 cm. She then decided to check me DURING a contraction and thats when I lost it. I balled my fool head off. That was the FIRST and ONLY time I cried during labor. It hurt so bad to be checked, I wanted to kick her in the face. In fact, I dont know how I didnt kick her in the face. Hearing I was only 5 cm was so depressing. I was in so much pain, I wasnt sure I could go on without medicine. I think if someone offered it to me, I may have went ahead with it. But I had amazing support, and they were confident I could do this. They knew its what I wanted, so instead of offering meds, they offered me words of encouragement. Those words are what kept me positive. A
A few more hours passed, it may have been nearly 7 or 8 am at this point. My Dr had finally arrived. Good old Dr. Dunn. I was so thankful he was willing to come in no matter what to deliver my baby. It was only weeks after Claires birth that I found out that not only was it his day off, but it was his Birthday! Well Dr Dunn came in and he said he wanted to check me. I said no, I pleaded him not to. It hurt so bad last time, I didnt want anyone to touch me. He said it was necessary, and everyone convinced me to let him, so I did. Guess how far I was? 5-6 whole freaking cm. THAT WAS IT. I was so devastated. I thought I was sad before that I was only 5 cm, but no. Now I was so depressed and mad and sad and exhausted. And in pain. Tremendous pain. We all know labor will hurt, but its a hurt no one can fully describe. Its a pain beyond tears. A pain that one will only experience when giving birth, only a mother can relate. Dr. Dunn, seeing my glum face, looked at me and said, "Sara, you still have options left for pain relief. But you dont need it. You are doing great, you can do this. Keep breathing and doing what you are doing." That was probably the best thing he could have said to me at that moment. He knew my goals of a natural birth and was totally supportive, I can never thank him enough for that. His encouragement kept me going. If he would have suggested an epidural, I am not sure I would have said no. But his interests were on my goals and I so appreciate that.
Another hour or two passed, contractions raging at this point. Dr. Dunn came in and checked me. I didnt know where I was dilation wise, he never said. Come to find out later that my amazing support team (Josh, Denise, Jess) suggested he not tell me so I dont feel defeat. Another sweet thing they did, bc yet again, I was still only at 5-6 cm. It must have been around 9:30 am at this point (not sure exact time) bc things started progressing rapidly. Contractions were coming and not stopping. They were continuous. I was laying in the bed, feeling paralyzed by pain, my back was raging with pressure. I was trying so hard to focus on my breathing, but it was so hard. Josh was holding my hand breathing with me, it was his face that helped keep me calm. I felt sick again to my stomach and started throwing up. Since that was the second time I had vommited, the Dr. had the nurses hook me up to some IV fluids. A newer nurse tried inserting the IV and in the process, blew my veins 3 times. At that point, I really didnt even care. Dr Dunn came in, checked me again and finally there was progress. I had made it to 8 cm in 30 minutes of his last checking. He left and with in seconds I felt the urge to push. What an uncontrolable feeling. The nurses told me I couldnt push and all I could think was how can I not?? Dr. Dunn rushed backed in, mind you this is literally just minutes after he just checked me.
I was now at 9, nearly 10 cm. There was just a "lip" left that had to move out of the way. In my head, I started freaking out. I had to push so bad, but the nurses begged me not to bc it will cause too much pressure on the baby. I felt so out of control. I looked at my Dr and yelled out to him--YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. He looked at me with such a calm face and said Sara, its you and your baby. Its happening all on its own, I cant quite do anything now. His calm voice helped me get my head in order and re-gain control. This all was happening within minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. The nurses had my legs propped up, baby station ready, lights bright that came out of the ceiling. They were ready. My Dr looked at me and said its time to push. He started giving me instructions, but I didnt need any. My body took over, and that is the main reason I chose not to have any medicine. Birth is such a natural, instinctual aspect of life and I wanted to experience that. My husband held my hand as he formed tears in his eyes, promising me our girl was coming soon. Denise (one of my support team members) was counting to 10 as I pushed as hard and as long as could.
Mean while, my Dr. is sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in his hand, because as he already mentioned to my husband, first-time-moms usually push for up to 3 hours. Well, I proved him wrong. With every push I felt her come down. I felt her head as it was about to appear into the world for the first time. My crotch was on fire after 3 pushes and her head was about to be out. The nurse yelled to the Dr that her head was almost out and he flew out of his chair threw gloves on and literally grasped her head right as I pushed it out as if he was catching her. I have a picture of this moment and it cracks me up bc you can see her head is out as he finishes putting on his gloves. A few more pushes and Claire Elizabeth arrives on my chest. Crying like an angel, smelling like heaven. I only had to push 6 or 7 times for 20 minutes to meet my beautiful daughter. I just held her for the longest time, kissing her head and telling everyone in the room that I did it. My baby was hear and I did it. I gave birth all natural, for 10 hours long and FINALLY, I reaped the reward.
They let me hold her for the longest time, and then had Josh cut the umbilical cord. I started feeling really dizzy and they took her from me to weigh and measure her etc. She was 6 pounds 15 oz 19.5 inches long. As they wrapped her up they started stitching me up. It was great she came out fast, but I paid for it. I tore internally. It was only a 2nd degree tear, however I tore on the inside all the way back to my cervix. It took them a long time to figure this out because there was so much blood. So much blood. I dont accept blood transfusions so these moments were scary. More nurses rushed in, pumping me full of fluids to make up for loss of blood volume. They gave me a suppository as they pressed on my stomach, thinking my uterus wasnt contracting--hence all the blood. When finally he was able to see the tear. That whole process took nearly an hour to find, clean and stitch up. For weeks after delivery I was so swollen from all the fluid, and could only stand for a few seconds at a time without nearly passing out.
Claire is everything and more that I dreamed her to be. Despite the tear, my whold laboring and birth process was exactly what I wanted. It was hard, painful, emotional and everything in between. But Claire makes every second worth it, and I would do it all again. Going through pregnancy and labor made me realize that I am capable of doing anything I want to. If I set my mind to it, it can happen. My amazing Doctor and incredible support team were key ingredients in natural birth success. I hope that one day, I can help someone like they all helped me.
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