Thursday, May 24, 2012

Teething, Fevers and summer!

My poor little angel had her first real fever over that past weekend.  Previously, she had one very low fever (99.0) from a vaccination,but other than that she had never had one.  Claire actually has never really been sick.  She gets the occasional stuffy nose, but never a cough or ear problems and etc.  So, because I am not used to a "sick" baby, I was really scared.

Saturday she woke up around 7:30 totally normal.  She got a little whiney by the end of the morning, but I just assumed it was because she was tired and ready for her afternoon nap.  Well, I put her down at 1 pm and she didnt wake until 4:30!  A 3.5 hour nap!!  She never naps like that!  I was very surprised she slept so long, but still didnt think anything of it.  Saturday was a really hot day, sometimes we can feel so drained from being in the heat-which is why I thought she slept so long.  However, she woke up from her nap very grumpy.  By the evening, I could just feel the heat radiating off of her.  I took her temperature and it was about 101.6 degrees.  Yes, I know that still isnt very "high" in comparison to other.  For a first-time mom, though, its so scary dealing with the first fever! 

It really is just a learning experience though, part of mommy hood!  I try not to medicate Claire, unless its extremely necessary.  I, personally, dont like taking medication.  I dont even like taking ibprofuen or tylenol when I have a headache.  Saturday night, though, I didnt hold back on the meds for Claire.  It was her bedtime and it made me so nervous putting her to bed with a fever and not being able to just watch her.  So I gave her some fever reducer which helped her sleep.  She woke up in the middle of the night one time crying, she was so sad! Sunday morning she woke up and was still had a fever, I checked it and it was about 102.  The whole day she laid on me and fell asleep on me and cuddled with me.  It was sad seeing her so unhappy, but I will admit I did love the cuddles.

Monday was her 1 year check up so I didnt bother calling the nurses line to see what was wrong with Claire.  When she got up on Monday, she no longer had a fever---which I was so thankful for!!  We went to the doctor and she was perfectly healthy and as happy as a peach!  The doctor thought her fever was in relation to her teeth.  Seeing that she had no other symptoms, I figured as much.  However, she has 5 teeth already and never got a fever with any of them! She is late to the teething game, so it could be that she is getting a bunch of teeth at once. 

Anyways, this was a very long and rambly blog today.  Its been in the 80's here already, which means it is clearly summer!!  I plan to camp a ton, and swim and I even have a couples get-away planned to Chicago!  I can not wait to do so many fun things with Claire.  It surely will be the summer of my lifetime this year!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

One Year

One year---one whole amazing, crazy, fun year has already passed that my beautiful angel, Claire, has been here.  So, this post is about reflection.

Throughout the day, I keep thinking about what I was doing at certain moments this time last year.  I know in the morning I had a doctor appointment, at which I was so annoyed with the doctors and nurses telling me I would give birth any day now even thought I was just 37 weeks.  My boss met me for lunch and I informed her I could no longer work up until my due date because I was so exhausted from being up all night with contractions (further explanation in my labor and delivery blog post).  The rest of the day was simple and lazy.  I took a nap, and laid around on the couch watching TV. 

When my husband came home that night we talked about Claire, and how soon we would see her.  I couldn't even believe I was already to the point of giving birth.  At the time, it felt like it was yesterday that I had a positive pregnancy test.  We went to bed and talked for a few hours about our journey, and really how it was only beginning.  In the process of our discussion, my water broke.  Ten, LONG, hours later I welcomed my sweet baby girl.  How blessed I am that everything went so smoothly without complications.

Over the past year, I have watched her grow from a tiny 6 pound tater tot, to a 24 pound toddler!  Her little squawks quickly turned into "ahhs" and "oohs", followed by her first words (mama, dada, pete, wow, dog, done and her new favorite--NO).  She definitely is a more verbal baby than physical.  She was spouting out words rather quickly, and she already engages you in conversation by her rambling "sentences" and hand gestures and expressive face.  Not quite a walker, but very mobile.  Claire started rolling over at 5 months, but it wasn't until 9.5 - 10 months that she started crawling.  At 10 months it seems like everything happened at once.  She got her first tooth, she started crawling, pulling herself up on furniture, then walking along furniture and now she is working on standing by herself.   I am very content in the fact that she isn't walking.  I feel blessed that milestones are happening gradually with her, not so quickly that she grows up too fast! 

Even thought it is so emotional saying goodbye to my baby, it is very exciting thinking about the many things to come.  I am so anticipating hearing her little voice talk to me in a way that I can actually understand.  When she starts walking, it opens up a whole new world for her--to watch her explore will be such a blessing.  The future is very bright, so this is just a bitter-sweet moment.  The hardest part is saying "goodbye" to breastfeeding.  My last day is tomorrow, her 1st birth date. I am crying just thinking about it right now.  I could go on about the hard things, but I want to stay positive.  This is such a special time.  She is my world, I cant imagine it any different.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012


I mentioned previously that I started weaning my daughter from nursing a few days ago.  By the time she turns one next week, I will be done.  I cant tell if its harder than I thought or not such a big deal. On one hand, its emotionally straining, while on the other hand its freeing!

For the past year I have breastfed my daughter; exclusively for the first six months.  It was  such a natural instinct for me that didnt take a lot of work that some moms had to face.  Does that mean I valued my time less?  I really dont know.  The very first time I nursed her right after she was born she latched on like a champ!  Never did I have to supplement with formula, as my daughter was always in the 98th percentile for weight!  Each time she nursed, as I held her in my arms, I would just stare at her.  I would use those moments to reflect on our journey together, as short as it is-I cant remember my life before her. 

Now that we are saying goodbye to our nursing phase, it forces me to face the fact that my baby girl is growing up.  My days of just holding her and cuddling her and carrying her everywhere are numbered.  Her complete dependence on me is so very temporary, she already has a mind of her own!  And really, that aspect makes me want to nurse her forever!! But, then i would be one of those freak moms , ha.

However, seeing her reach a new phase in life is so thrilling.  As she explores this world, I come to appreciate the small things in life so much more.  Honestly, I can not wait until she is walking and fully talking telling me her feelings and thoughts on life.   Then, in just 4 short years, she will be starting school and learning to read and write and really cultivate her own interests.  Its just so amazing being a part of all of this! 

So, hopefully, I can just focus on the positives of weaning and not have an emotional breakdown or anything.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Not doing so well with this blogging thing.

I started a blog not too long ago and have been terrible about keeping up with it.  I write not necessarily for anyone else, but for me.  I am extremely proud of my accomplishments in life and I would love to tell the world my story.  I am sure most wouldnt be interested, but writing about life experiences and sharing it online somehow makes me feel like I am telling everyone.  Even if I have minimal followers, blogging makes me feel like I am telling the world. 

I will start my updates about Claire!  She is doing fantastic!  Claire will be turning one next week, I can't even believe it.  A little personality is starting to form as she is learning new words and exploring the world of mobility.  Although she isn't walking, that girl moves around quick.  All she needs are some couches or tables or even a simple wall will do to help her get from point A to point B.  Claire has a LOVE for food and will eat most everything.  Anything I make, she eats, which also means I am breastfeeding less and less.  I started "officially" weaning her yesterday, so by the time she turns one I will be done nursing her. 

Finishing the breastfeeding part of her life is extremely hard for me emotionally.  I love that bond so much, and the fact that I am the only one who can do it.  It also means that she is growin up.  No longer a baby, but a TODDLER.. She isnt walking yet, but thats just right around the corner.  Four short years left and she is in school.  Its going by so fast, I can't handle it.   However, the older she gets the more amazing she becomes.  I love her personality, its kinda sassy but unbelievably sweet and cute.  I am looking forward to summer which brings swimming, playing in dirt, melting popsicles all over her face and so much more.  She is the greatest part of my life, only a mother can understand that feeling.

As for my weight loss, its going slow.  Summer is fast approaching and I am NOT where I thought I would be, and thats extremely depressing.  Its hard because my natural inclination is to focus on the negative instead of how far I have come-so I am working on that.  I had been doing weight watchers, which worked to get me down 50 pounds, but I think I need a change.  So, I have been using  Its a simliar principle to Weight Watchers, but you count calories instead of points.You also dont get any extra weekly points or "free" foods, like fruits and veggies, that dont count towards your points.  Also, I made an appointment with a dietician to talk about my goals and suggestions she may have.  I have never met with a doctor about losing weight and right now I need the extra motivation.  I will NOT give up, I have a goal that I will reach.  Its just going to take longer than anticipated, but thats ok. 

Lets hope I can keep up with this blogging thing.....

Thursday, February 16, 2012

9 Months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you even believe it?? Can I even believe it? My little sweet, 6 lb 15 oz priceless peanut is now 9 months old?  Time has flown so fast.  In just three short months she will be a whole YEAR old!  Claire has brought me so much joy and happiness in life, that I can truly say that she has been the best decision Josh and I have ever made.

I keep up with a mom-forum website.  I have been on there since I was in my 2nd trimester reading about other women going through pregnancy just like I was.   It has been so informative, that I continue to regularly read posts and comment often.  However, I have been sad to see the amount of posts that mothers have made regarding their relationship status with their spouses or signifcant others.  A lot of them are having problems, some even leading to divorce.  Whats even more sad, is that they feel having their little one has caused the strain.

I guess I am very fortunate that Claire is such a low-key and happy baby.  She has always been a fantastic sleeper, so there have never been sleepless nights for my DH and I.  He has willingly been such an amazing help and support, always wanting to pitch in and take care of her as much as possible.  Never before have I realized how great of a pair we are, until we started parenting together.  We love our daughter so much and it has truly shown in our marriage.  She has been nothing short of a wonderful enhancement.  By no means is our relationhsip perfect, we definitely have issues at times--who doesnt.  But bringing Claire into our life has strengthened our marriage bond so much.  Never have I been happier in life until now. Even though it may sound cliched, its the honest truth.

So, when I hear about other marriages/relationships failing, it breaks my heart.  I realize that not all Dads do well with the baby stage, and I can only imagine how straining that may be.  I wish, when I hear these things, that I could offer words of encouragement, but what do I even say?  I find everything so blissful and happy--and that could very royaly irritate someone.  Especially if their life has been downhill lately.  The mom who has a baby that cries for 3 hours every night does not want advice from the mom whose baby falls asleep by themselves for 12 hours.  Maybe the best thing I can do is have a listening ear, and be supportive.  I just truly hope that things can turn around for them, it just is sad for kids to grow up in environments like that. 

This pretty much was a rambling of thoughts, but this world just sucks.  I just dont feel that something so "natural" is intended to be so difficult for some.  Not that they can help it ( I am not blaming them) I just feel that with each year that passes, the more imperfect we become. 

Sunday, February 12, 2012


Claire is just about 9 months and I really wanted to get some fun pics of her.  We have only had professional pictures done 2 times.  The first time was when she was a newborn, the second was a shorter photo session to get specific shots for an anniversary present for my husband.

My husband has always been interested in photography.  Not necessarily to do it professionaly, but for a personal hobby.  Since a young age he would use his Dads SLR 35 mm ---with nothing but film;)--- and take shots of the nature surrounding him.  He has some really great shots from way back then.  Well, right before Claire was born, we decided he should get a more "special" camera.  Something better than a Sony Cybershot.  So after some deep research on his part, he chose the Canon Rebel T3i.  Not a "professional" one that you would see at a wedding shoot, but definitely a learning one that lets you play with lenses and filters and etc.  He gets great pictures all the time that I just adore!!! 

Now that we have our darling little girl, she has become the object of many flashes:)  So for 9 months, instead of just candid photos we normally prefer, we chose to set up a little photoshoot and dress her up.  Then, of course, we did a little photoshop to make the backgrounds and such a little more (hmm what word am I looking for) clean (maybe thats the best word?) looking.   Anyways, I wanted to share what we have!!!  Heres our girl:)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Skinny Mamas--Lets face our demons

Well, yet again, it has been a while since my last post.  A brief update on Claire: 20 1bs (92%), 26.5 in (32%), no teeth (god please let them come through soon!!), and she is very mobile--crawling is just around the corner.  She is SO talkative, she says Mama and Dada A LOT.  She is very in love with our dog Chanel, anything food related and bouncing in her bouncer.  I am more ecstatic than ever for summer to come when we can play in water and dig up dirt and just have a fantastic time playing together as she learns and grows:)

My post today is about Mommy-hood and weight loss.  I am going to lay everything out there, in writing, and face this anxiety that I have struggled with all of my life.  I can remember as a YOUNG child, in elementary school, thinking I was fat.  I needed help buttoning a shirt in a bathroom and I was embarassed because all I could think about was how this girl helping me will see my fat belly.  Its sad to me that a first grader---7 years old----had to feel this way.  Maybe its in relation to the rough childhood I endured, but its something that has stuck with me to this day.

I have always been overweight.  I have never felt AMAZING in any clothing I wore, even my wedding dress.  Not once did I feel comfortable in a bathing suit, let alone a bikini.  Looking in the mirror I see my huge hideous hips and the inner tube of belly that surrounds them.  Legs are ok except the extra fat that lingers on the inside of my thighs.  My cheeks are too chubby and my arms are too flabby and the list could go on.   Just go on a diet and exercise you say?  Well been there, done that numerous times over and over without success.  In fact, I think I ended up larger each time I tried loosing it!  That is until now.

Before getting pregnant with my daughter I was 200 pounds.  At only 5 foot 4 inches, that is most definitely obese.  The year before getting pregnant I was diagnosed with PCOS, which is responsible for some of the extra weight (its well known to be difficult to lose weight when you have PCOS unless you are properly medicated).  Well, I finaly got the proper dosage of Metformin, which controls and regulates my insulin.  I started losing a little bit of weight, maybe 5 pounds, but the same month my medication was changed was the month I got pregnant.  I only gained 25 pounds while pregnant, which was great to me.  But each month I gained more, reminding me that I needed to change something as soon as my child was born.

Claire came, and I left the hospital at 225 pounds. It made me sick to my stomach to know how big I was.  However, I was motivated more than ever.  Probably sooner than recommended, I started following Weight Watchers.  They give extra Points for those who breastfeed, which was perfect for the current situation I was in.  I also started running.  Never in my life was I ever able to run even a minute!  I always aspired to, but never did and could never find the right program to help me.  Then I discovered Couch to 5k program, which literally got me off the couch and into my first 5k in August of 2011.  Just 3 months after my daughter was born.  It has been the kick I needed to keep me going, and keep my motivation up.  I now aspire to run in Crazy Legs 8k in Madison on April 28.  I also will be doing a Triathlon in August, a 3 mile run, half mile swim and 12.4 mile bike!  These goals have kept me eating right and staying active.  So far I have lost 48 pounds, putting me at 177.  I really want to get down to 140-145, so I have about 38 pounds left to go.  December and January have been rough months losing weight, but I know I can do this.  I think writing it out and talking about it with others gives me the confidence and encouragement I need.  I think it will take a lot of time to finally feel better about my body, a demon I think most women face.  However, portraying a healthy, fit and active image to my daugther is far more important to me than anything else.

I do everything for her, she is my biggest motivater and proudest accomplishment in life.  Claire means the world to me, and I hope I can prevent her having such terrible body issues that I did as a young child.  I want her to be confident in herself, and worry more about what color she is going to paint a picture vs what shirt she wears to look thin.